Currently Loving

Saturday, March 28, 2020

With Love and Hope

My boyfriend and I ended our relationship. I'm not good. I'm not good because I don't think I've ever experienced such feelings of love. A love that was so unexpected but was giving, kind, communicative, patient, passionate, vulnerable and honest. I was going to try to write a "how to get over a breakup" post, but that just doesn't feel right. Because I am so deeply tangled in all of my feelings and frankly, because I don't think there is any right way to cope with someone who you love leaving your life when you still want them to be a part of it. You just have to get though it. I only know that you will have to cope with the idea that it will hurt for a long time and there isn't a way around that. 

I am having a hard time talking to my friends and family about it. First, because I'm not ready and don't have the energy to speak at length about he and I and secondly, because talking about it will not bring him back to me, although I wish that it could. 

I miss him and I love him. I am devastated that what we had together is now over and there won't be any more memories to be made. I will cherish all the amazing times and I may always wish that there were more. I wanted to start a new chapter of my life with him. New places, more adventures, moving in together and if we made it through all of that, a family. I don't know what to do with the discomfort and anxiety of dealing with the idea that these things will probably not happen. 

One day, I hope he finds his way back to me and that we can exist together in a new, open place of love. I want that. I tried to soothe myself with this thought but I understand that what I want and what actually happens in life are two very different things and we may not have the opportunity to come back together again.

Although, I still hope. 

More thoughts pour in. Thoughts about when he feels he is ready to move on and does. The thought of someone else receiving his affection, attention and his love crushes me and I hate thinking about that. I want him to find his peace and happiness, but I want to be the person who receives his love and I don't want anyone else to have it. As immature and childish as that might sound. 

I think of who will be next in my life. There will most likely be another in time if I allow and if I am ready, but I can't help worry that they, in my mind, will not come close to being how he was. I know that isn't a fair thought, but it is an honest one. There are a handful of people in this world that "have a soul" and I was fortunate to find and enter into a relationship with one of them.

There isn't much else to do now but wait and allow time to pass. Laboriously and drawn out. As the weeks and months go on, I hope that I will be able to find some peace within myself about his need to end our relationship. But for now, restlessly, I write this and take in our departure from each other minute by minute, hour by hour and day by day. 

Even now, I feel that writing this is helpful, but not, because these words will not bring him back into my life like how he once was. 

Photo: a staircase in LA while on a trip together


Tuesday, March 17, 2020

What I Spend in a Week in NYC

I wanted to share my spending habits in case anyone is curious about the costs of living in the big apple in 2020. I'll share my occupation and what I spend over a seven day period in New York City. 

What I do:

Occupation: Executive Assistant (and very proud) 
Industry: Healthcare Investment (aka finance) 

Let’s get the monthly basics out of the way, shall we?

Monthly Expenses

Wifi: $79.00
Phone: family plan but I pay it, $149.50
Rent: $ A very scary number!
Student Loan: $267.00 (yikes)
Electric: in the winter is usually around $30
Monthly unlimited metro card: $127
Tidal: $9.99
Guest of a Guest subscription - $14.99 (I just canceled this because I never used it)
Hulu: $5.99
Netflix: 9.99
401k Roth: about $400 from my pre-taxed paycheck (I don't count this as money spent since I don't see the cash and it goes into the retirement account)

Total for Monthly: $693.46 (not including rent and 401k)

Going to work: The bus ride to my job. I'm in the office from 7:45am-5ish, Monday-Friday. It's a little rough sitting in an office all day, but I'm happy to have a job that lets me live and enjoy life in Manhattan) - $2.75
Breakfast once I arrive at work: I ordered 2 eggs and some strawberries $12.87 but really $0
Lunch was tofu, broccoli, and mushroom Pho (I just discovered the joys and deliciousness of Pho! but I picked out the mushrooms because I don't like them) – $17.43 actually $0
(My job pays for breakfast and lunch for us, so I usually don’t have any food charges for the day unless I go out for happy hour, have dinner after work or take a cab to my boyfriend's apartment)
Subway home - a glamorous $2.75
Stopped in CVS (my favorite place!) for 2 packs of Mike’s mighty good ramen, nail glue because my nail broke, and extra polar ice gum - $13.21
When I got home, I decided to get some box lighting from Amazon so I can shoot content at any time without relying on natural light from my apartment windows - $65.31

Le bus ride yet again - $2.75
Breakfast, I had two Nutragrain waffles and a clementine from my job’s kitchen - $0
Lunch, I had tofu curry with white rice that made my stomach gurgle later. Probably won’t get that again - $15.30 but actually $0
Today was a normal workday with some perfunctory good mornings and how are yous. I try to do my job efficiently and get people what they need quickly to make sure I'm on top of stuff. Sometimes I check my gmail for any blogging collaborations or events that may be making my inbox good looking. 
6 train (subway) home - just takes a few stops – $2.75

A luxury ride in the Aston down 2nd avenue to get to the office (jk bus again) - $2.75
Breaky was an apple, banana, and some sort of yellow plum from my job’s kitchen. I know, don't cringe, it's healthy - $0
For lunch I ordered a California roll and some edamame that I didn't really like - $15.87 but free.99.
6 train home was $2.75

No bus ride today because I worked from home due to the corona virus. My job tested work from home capabilities firm-wide and Thursday was my test day. I have to be honest, it was really nice not waking up at 6:40am to hustle out the door and to work. I actually had time to enjoy the morning and felt very refreshed when the day ended.
Laundry because I was running out of clean undies. $23 since I drop it off to have it washed and folded then I pick it up. (I know, I know) A luxury I've partaken in since I was broke and living in Astoria, Queens. 


Back to work and reluctantly back on the bus - $2.75
Breakfast - No breakfast because at this point COVID-19 in NYC was really starting to worsen and I didn't want to touch anything that would be delivered, to be honest.
Lunch - same as above!
Getting home: I left work around 2:45pm. I was hesitant to go in at all since WHO announced we are officially in a pandemic and I was among only a few in the office. I went in because I had to file some tax stuff that was being sent to us on Friday and due to be postmarked by the weekend. I took a cab to CVS after I left work to avoid being in a crowded subway car in light of social distancing - $13.80 Back on the upper east side, I decided to get food from CVS and Whole Foods. SUPER RARE for me to stock up on a bunch of groceries since my job pays for breakfast and lunch, but my job announced we will all be working from home for a week due to the corona virus and to help stop the spread. So, I needed to make sure to have enough food in my apartment to avoid having to go out to get more food throughout the week - $108.95

Social distancing in full effect. No money spent on this day and for the first time, in a long time, my wallet smiled at me. I just recorded a few YouTube videos and a TikTok in my apartment. All in all, it was a productive day for my blogging business and just felt like a low-key day on the weekend.

A problem: I ran out of toilet paper in the morning. After searching high and low for toilet paper (it's sold out everywhere because people bought it all in a panic), I finally found a few rolls in an obscure pharmacy. Crisis averted for $6.80. Money well spent.

This week wasn't a normal week for me since it included the cost of groceries and no social activity. I usually have at least one happy hour after work, go to my boyfriend's apartment at least once during the week, and have brunch with a friend on the weekend.

This week wasn't a normal week for most people due to COVID-19. Since we are engaging in social distancing to combat the spread of the virus, many of us have completely changed our normal day-to-day routine to adjust to this lifestyle. 

Even with all that is going on, I like sharing the experience of a "normal" start to the work week, then end on a completely different daily regimen due to our current social climate. I think a big takeaway is that we can adapt and adjust to anything. 

Total Spent for the week: $250.32


Saturday, March 14, 2020

Transitioning to Spring in Pretty Little Thing

Despite the world temporarily pausing due to all the Corona business, I'd like to get back to regularly scheduled, programming and share my yearly obligatory Spring outfit post. 

Spring brings renewed energy and although the current climate may not see a shift right away, I am optimistic that things will get better and that the flowers will bloom in due time. 

And so, this year's obligatory Spring outfit post features a clothing line that I've never ordered from before: 

Pretty Little Thing. 

If you know me, you know that I love sales! Especially for trendy seasonal items that may go out of style in just a few months. To stay true to myself, I shopped the sale section only and found some really cute pieces. You can see everything I found here

I was pleasantly surprised to pull on pants that fit perfectly and paired them with a classic inspired blouse with a contemporary twist. I may need to go back to shop the sale sections for round two...

(This post is not sponsored) 


Friday, March 13, 2020

Things to do While Social Distancing

Who knew our New Year's resolutions would be halted by a global pandemic in 2020? 

You guessed it, I'm talking about the notorious COVID-19. In just a few short months, the virus has taken over and it's all we hear about - whether it's real or fake news. 

In New York City, we have been urged to practice social distancing, AKA avoid people and public places. If you now find yourself at home when you would normally be at work or at school, what should you do with all that home time? 

It's easy to go stir crazy when trying to stay away from the outside world, so here are 7 things to do while practicing social distancing.

FaceTime Someone 
Since many of us may be stuck working from home or just avoiding public spaces, feelings of isolation can quickly swoop in. FaceTiming a friend, family member, or significant other can help bring feelings of connectedness during this period of keeping to ourselves. 

Catch up on that Book
You know, that one you've been meaning to read? Now is the perfect time to read or reread a few books that have been collecting dust.

Workout at Home
Hello YouTube. There are one million and one free workout videos that you can follow along to keep your body moving to stay well and release some anxious, pent-up energy. 

Create Some Content
Now is the perfect time to brainstorm content ideas and maybe even execute some of them while being indoors. Think of new concepts for your job, film a YouTube video, write a blog post and then plan out how materialize those goals.

Brush up on a New Language 
Oui, ya, yes, und si. Because why not! Just because we're discouraged from traveling doesn't mean that should hold up any feelings of wanting to be connected to other parts on the world. You can use free language apps to learn a few basics, then FaceTime a friend to show off your new skills. 

Do the Extended Version of your Skincare routine 
You know, self care a little bit more. Use your favorite cleansers, exfoliants and masks to help your skin glow during this less than glowy time. 

Clean out your Closet
Spring is just around the corner, after all. Grab a big bag, fill it up with clothes and shoes you haven't worn in years then donate it to a local thrift store. Now you can enjoy the extra space win your closet or fill it up with new pieces.


Monday, February 24, 2020

Best Places to Eat in Puerto Rico!

Oh my, Mallorca. 

Thinking about all the delicious food I ate while in Puerto Rico makes me want to hop on a plane to go back for seconds. 

I had a fantastically tasteful, solo trip to San Juan, Puerto Rico! Breaking from the New York City doom and gloom of the winter months by taking a tropical vacation to the Caribbean was just what my sun deprived skin, needed. I booked the trip on Christmas Day (ho ho ho) and jetted off in mid-February.

I decided to stay central in the charming city of Viejo, San Juan (old San Juan) to be able to walk outside and be right in the pulse of the city. Old San Juan has lots of restaurants and eclectic shops, is buzzing with block parties, and is a perfect place to stay if you want to travel around to different neighborhoods of Puerto Rico like upscale Condado, residential Santurce or to be transported to one of the beautiful surrounding islands like Culebra or Icacos. 

I was ready for nice weather and sparkeling clear, blue ocean waters, but was pleasantly surprised to fall in love with the Puerto Rican cuisine! Beef, chicken and crab empanadas, Mallorcas with ham and cheese, avocado stuffed with tender, well-seasoned beef, and soft breads – Mm! 

Iguana panini anyone? Hunting Iguanas is legal because there are so many of them in Puerto Rico and because they eat fruits and veggies in crops. During my tour of El Yunque rainforest, the guide said this meat gets sold in PR and also on the US mainland. The next time you order at a restaurant, make sure your beef or chicken is actually that! 

I’ll pass on any sort of Iguana sandwich, but not on any of the below. 

Make sure you head to these spots if you’re ever in Viejo, Puerto Rico!

La Bombonera 
If you like bread, meat and cheese – this is the place for you. Try a Mallorca. A Puerto Rican sweet-bread sprinkled with powdered sugar and often pressed into a warm, comforting sandwich. I had one with ham and swiss cheese and I’m still seeing it in my dreams. It tastes like, a croissant, brioche bread and potato bread mixed into one. The service was warm and friendly just like the vibe of the colorful city. 

El Jibarito
At this colorful spot, you’ll find tourists and locals enjoying all the Puerto Rican classics. One order of empanadas comes with five pieces and if you order the beans and rice you’re sure to be pleasantly stuffed. Pro tip: leftover empanadas make for an excellent breakfast the next day. I am still sad to this day that I didn’t get the tres leches cake but I heard it is fantastic. 

La Ó
If your scene is more trendy and conceptual, head to this chic spot for a cocktail and sip it in the outdoor garden. This place also has gluten free, vegan and vegetarian options. I went for a light pasta with olive oil and scallops (I’m not a big seafood person but wanted to try something out-of-the-box since I was on vacation). The meal wasn’t my favorite, but wanted to add it to this list to illustrate that OSJ offers a wide variety of food options. 

This place is rustic and cute but touristy. After all the fried dough and cheese, if you need a dang salad you can find one here if you manage not to order a pizza. I had a solid mixed green salad at this place along with a glass of crisp white wine. 

La Casita Blanca
This place, hands down, is my number one recommendation for Puertorican food on this list. 

La Casita Blanca is off the beaten path but is so worth the trip to Santurce (a more residential neighborhood in San Juan). You will be pleasantly greeted and walked to your table. Then very shortly after you will be presented with a big chalkboard with Spanish writing which has the menu of the day written on it. It’s all in Spanish with no English translation (so you know it’s real). 

Pro tip: use their Instagram to show what you want or google up a storm to make your decision. 

I speak poor Spanish that I remember from high school but the server was pleasant and patient and helped me toward my choice: Avocado stuffed with beef and red beans and rice. 

It was per-fec-tion. 

Before the main dish came out, they brought out a soup and a fried dish called Bacalaitos as an appetizer (at no charge) and once your finished with your meal, you get a shot of Chichaito (licorice flavored rum) to send you on your happy way. 

Lunch on a catamaran 
Because you’re on vacation and it will be great. Go to Culebra and thank me later. 

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